FOUND

It's nearly 4am and I'm cooking a french dish that my mom taught me how to make.We're so similar its ridiculous.

I'm not worried anymore.

I'm rather relieved. I'm always at my best when I'm on the edge of really losing it. I made my first pair of underwear tonight while watching a documentary on Jack the Ripper, I figured that Sweeney Todd was based on the story since the murders occurred on Fleet Street. There was another documentary about the internet and the creation of Amazon, it just reminded me of when I was 9 years old and I was the first one to have a computer and internet and I was hooked from then on.

I spent years in social isolation and being alone and reveling in that. Reading books, being elitist and not speaking to anyone,because we had nothing in common and there was no reason to waste time on them.

There is a sense of relief when I have nothing.When I'm homeless, jobless and loveless, I'm so happy and maybe its because there are no expectations and not too many people to have to deal with and it means no responsibility no commitment.

This is why living alone appeals to me;I don't want to clean up after other people.I just want to create all day.