I can compare everything that means happiness to me, to equivalent to Pumpkin Pie.
It's joy, happiness, glee, stars in your eyes love, anticipation for what the future will bring you.
I bought this pie and didn't realize how much symbolism it could have in my life. Saved this for a special occasion as a reward to myself, but tonight the shit hit the fan and it became so utterly undeniable to me that waiting for the reward wasn't doing me any good.
Being dropped kicked on your ass back to reality, hurts and it hurts every time it happens. I can't even curse anything, since its a call to action. When I hear people complain about the most inane things, I think what a waste of energy. I don't like the person I've becoming or the way I've been recently and I can't go on this way.
Why wait? when you're starving for change... I can't even be upset because this is exactly what I wanted, a way out of this situation and now I have it, so if anything I'm blessed.
If every moment counts and none of the moments I've had lately seem to matter, why would I even have an inkling of sorrow or regret. My only regret is having been in this situation in the first place, that said, it wasn't atrocious but certainly I felt in my grey muscle it wasn't right or true to me. I couldn't lie and say this was my ideal because it wasn't.
This Pumpkin Pie symbolizes utter and total freedom- the one I've always had and neglected to explore, hidden treasures and pleasures that await me as I take that first bite.
It's in the oven and baking, then it has to cool 2 hours and then I'll take my first bite...
