Must stay quiet, prompt, polite and reserved
"I practiced detachment. I learned how to look cheerful while under the table I stuck a fork into the back of my hand. I became a virtuoso of deceit. It wasn't pleasure I was after, it was knowledge. I consulted the strictest moralists to learn how to appear, philosophers to find out what to think, and novelists to see what I could get away with, and in the end, I distilled everything to one wonderfully simple principle: win or die."
My aunt who has been battling cancer for the past few years, wants to commit assisted suicide. This will probably happen early next month.
I'm not perfect but I'd like to think I'm good at whatever it is that I chose to pursue and I often win but not before experiencing a massive amount of pain and loss. Now I don't think to myself, oh no you're too good to not experience loss and pain as that is a given and part of life, its just can't the pain come at better suited times, when you're just a little bit prepared for it. But then that brings me back to the Buddhist philosophy," even when you try and stop moving, the ground is still moving beneath you."
