There are a lot of things that make me smile and happy that I forgot about. Spending lots of time alone helps me realize them all over again.
Today I finally got the 10 page handwritten letter from a friend I've had for 10 years and seriously reading it made me so incredibly happy. It starts out to my dearest friend and just that alone makes my Grey muscle react, plus its so genuine; I can relate to all the things she wrote, I've been there, I'm glad those situations happen less and less frequently. It's not that I don't have compassion, its just I don't feel sorry for people who put themselves in bad situations. play victims and expect me to give a shit.
If you have time to complain about it, you have time to do something about it instead, yes we all need to vent, but sometimes you just need to take care of things and don't waste your words on such energy sucking endeavors.
It was really nice out tonight, I got everything I needed done as far as errands etc so yay. I've been catching up on my Zzz's and I am getting back into my interests and projects and that makes me really happy because I believe that to be the root of my malaise of lately. I was so incredibly uncomfortable but putting an end to a lot of things and replacing them with something new helped tremendously.
I'm again an empty free-floating vessel and that brings me the greatest joy of all. I will definitely be spending more time on my interests and less time socializing unless it has any real benefits. I really have more pressing issues than what am I gonna wear to the club tonight and how am I going to ward off getting hit on by people I have no interest in sleeping with.
p.s. look at this link it looks like fun! Guuumeee Bears, okay yes its from Hedwig and the Angry Inch
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